The Republic of Seattle Sounders FC is a massive, genial nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 2.261 billion Seattle Sounders FCians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 51.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Seattle Sounders FCian economy, worth 92.3 trillion florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 40,842 florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, divorce is illegal, and the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Seattle Sounders FC's national animal is the unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Seattle Sounders FC is ranked 181,939^th in the world and 6,991^st in Balder for Highest Food Quality, scoring 13.14 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.